Top 40 Tips for New Moms

Becoming a mother is one of the greatest gifts in life. It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, but it can also flip your world upside down. `

The truth is, I don’t think any of us are truly prepared for how hard motherhood can be at times. That’s why I asked hundreds of real moms to share their best advice to help new moms transition into this crazy, beautiful new life. This is what they had to say…

1. GO EASY ON YOURSELF 🙏🏻

“Do not put so much pressure on yourself the first couple weeks after baby is born. Give your new life some time to adjust. Let your body heal. Cry if you have to. Snuggle your baby. Sleep. Let people make you food and clean your house. As far as I’m concerned this is your new little family’s time. If you don’t want company say no. And if you’re feeling postpartum depression or anxiety, take care of yourself first and then you’ll be able to properly care for your family.” - Erika L.

The early days of motherhood are as beautiful as they are isolating. Tap into your support system. None of us really know what we’re doing. We’re all figuring it out as we go. You will have a new appreciation for how fierce women are!” - Julissa C.

“Breathe... It's fascinating and exhausting... Overwhelming and strangely lonely... There are wonderful moments and odd failures... So when it's all too much just breathe ... The long stretches of infancy turn to short moments of toddler... Love them... Love yourself... Be grateful and humble and find peace in the fact that there are literally billions of people walking around who miraculously survived and at the end of the day no one else was lucky enough for you to be their mom.” - Tracy K.

2. TRUST YOUR GUT 👍🏻

“Another thing that is still very important to me is knowing that I am my son’s biggest advocate & his voice. If something doesn’t seem right to me, whether it’s something with my parents or in-laws or at the doctors I speak up for him without hesitation!” - Lauren S.

“Advice my dad gave me: everyone's an expert when it comes to caring for and raising babies, but only you're an expert on your baby. Don't worry about what people tell you you should be doing just go with what works for you.” - Mubeena D.

Be confident in your parenting choices!” -Siera S.

“Take all advice with a grain of salt but ultimately do what's best for your family.” - Amber K.

3. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY 😔

“Post-labor: Do NOT hesitate to get help if you feel like you have PPD or PPA, those things can get really ugly really fast.” Siera S.

You are not a failure if you get treatment for pre/postnatal anxiety and depression. There are so many resources out there and you are not a failure if you need them.” - Joanne M.

It’s ok to not be ok. If you don’t feel like yourself and hate your new life, reach out for help! There is no shame on needing therapy and/medication and you CAN still breastfeed on certain ones!” - Sherri E.

“It's okay to be sad during the happiest time of your life. It's okay to cry, it's okay to miss your old life even though the new one is amazing as well.” - Jasna G.

“Baby blues will hit, sometimes right away. It is OKAY and NORMAL to through these emotions. Talk through them, acknowledge them, and release.” - Amanda G.

4. MAKE IT A TEAM EFFORT 👊🏻

“As far as getting along with your partner during crazy stressful baby-times, remind each other when things get rough that you are on a team together, sometimes it might seem like the baby's on the opposing team and sometimes all 3 of you are on a team together, but as long as you and your partner on one team you can do it.” - Lilly M.

“You’re not going to get everything right every time. Give yourself and your spouse some grace and don’t worry about every little thing.” - Angie L.

“The best advice my husband and I got as a new parents was “go easy on each other.” Such a simple, practical philosophy that helped us to help each other become good parents without so much pressure (on both our parts) to do all the things!!” - Emily O.

5. KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE 🤰🏻🤰🏽🤰🏾🤰🏼🤰🏿

“I was told to think about the millions of women that are up at night with their babies just like you are, that you don’t feel alone in it.” - Jamie B.

6. THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS TOUGH 😴

“The first few weeks are the HARDEST. Lack of sleep really affects your mental state. Be aware of that. Don’t compare your baby and new life with others. What you see on social media is not what it’s like at home!” - Ali H.

“Sleep deprivation is unlike anything ever experienced or imagined. If you live close to parents / family absolutely take them up on any help.” - Heather C.

7. THINGS CHANGE QUICKLY ⏰

Everything is a stage. Babies and kids are growing and changing so quickly, that the rough parts won’t last long. I found myself constantly trying to find solutions to “issues” that after a few weeks or months would pass anyway. Ride the wave of ups and downs rather than trying to control it.” - Dana R.

“In the early days my son was up constantly I was exhausted and kept having to remind myself that it really is such a small amount of time I would have to go through the rough nights in the grand scheme of things. It helped me appreciate the late night cuddles and feedings.” - Brita G.

“Everything changes constantly with babies — I find that 2 weeks can make a world of difference. Things that seem so unpleasant have changed before you even realize.” - Caroline T.

8. BE PATIENT 😑

“Patience. When things get hard and frustrating just know that everything is also new for your little one (eating, sleeping, etc). However, they have no way to reach out or ask for help. Imagine how much harder it must be for them and have patience in helping them figure everything out.” - Maggie S.

9. THE CONNECTION MAY TAKE TIME 👩‍👧

“It is ok not to feel an immediate unconditional deep love and connection that you would maybe expect right after giving birth. That bonding can take some time right after giving birth and you can get to know your baby.” - Jamie B

“It’s OKAY to love your baby, but not immediately be IN LOVE with your baby from the moment you hold them. I always wanted to be a mom, but can safely say I didn’t have the immediate connection FaceBook makes people think is reality. The first few weeks are HARD and you are all just trying to figure it out. It gets SO much better. My husband and I would joke at the beginning “oh yes it’s so magical” at 3am trying to get the baby to go back to sleep. It’s not magical. It’s survival mode! Just wait though...the magic comes. Promise.” - Diana G.

10. LINE UP SUPPORT FOR BREASTFEEDING

“Getting the hang of breastfeeding can feel like it's more difficult than labor. While some pop out and just "get it" other babies don't/can't (for a myriad of reasons) and as a first time mum it can be really hard to figure it out. Get some resources lined up before birthing so you have free drop in clinics to go to and even lactation consultants researched just in case you'll need them.” - Alessandra G.

Plan ahead to meet with an IBCLC in the first week after you get home. I took breastfeeding classes and met with lactation consultants at the hospital but they were so rushed and gave conflicting information. Having a one on one with a lactation consultant at home was totally covered by insurance and a great help in the beginning.” - Michelle U.

“Breastfeeding can be difficult but I found solace in going to a breastfeeding group at a local hospital every week. It was there I was told that if I could push through the difficulty during the first six weeks it would be much easier after. It allowed me to know the hard part was short lived.” - Ashely O.

“Breastfeeding is HARD in the beginning. Do not be nervous to ask for help. Find a great lactation consultant to do a weighted feed so you know how much baby is getting. I wish I would have known about this sooner.” - Caitlin T.

11. HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Being a new mom is hard! Try not to feel bad if it doesn’t live up to the expectations you had set.” - Stephanie M.

12. ASK FOR HELP ❓

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Being a mom is the best, but hardest job in the world!” - Kmbrly G.

Have a support system in place. It was a huge help to have family come in and help watch the baby so you can sleep and recover. I was pretty much useless after my c-section so having people help with grocery shopping, food, and lifting was huge.” - Joanne M.

Say “yes” when someone offers to help and it’s okay to ask for help too!” - Kristen H.

13. DON’T BE AFRAID TO MOVE AROUND 🚶🏻‍♀️

“Pre-labor: You don't HAVE to stay strapped down to your bed. Get up and walk, ask for a birthing ball, use your partner to help with contractions.” - Siera S.

“If you have to have a c-section, get up and move as soon as they will let you. It hurts but it helps you recover much faster.” - Nicole R.

14. DON’T OVERWHELM YOURSELF WITH VISITORS 😵

“It’s okay to pick favorites in the early days of who you want around and who you don’t. You will not have the physical or emotional energy to deal with people you aren’t 100% comfortable with, and after enduring labor and delivery, you get to have 100% of the vote on this.” - Caroline V.

Limit visitors in the hospital to immediate family. When visitors come to your house the first few weeks, let them know that you're only available for 30 minutes, and then need to rest. I totally overdid it with my first and feeling like I had to entertain and was miserable.” - Carrie M.

15. BE PATIENT WITH YOUR BODY 👖

“You won’t fit into your pre-baby clothes for awhile, maybe never. Be okay with that.” -Siera S.

16. CONSIDER A DOULA

I am so glad I paid for a doula. She helped me in so many ways. Because of her I was able to have a natural, drug free birth and it was absolutely empowering.” - Eliza M.

17. TAKE ADVICE WITH A GRAIN OF SALT 🤔

Every baby is different, if it works for someone else's baby it doesn't mean it will work for yours.” - Plamena G.

Don't listen to everyone's horror stories though. Good to be informed but it is scary. I started reading some good books while I was pregnant by a midwife and there were a lot of positive stories. They helped me relax a little and be excited more than scared.” - Eliza M.

18. IF YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED - TAKE A BREAK ⏱

“It’s okay to set your newborn down in their crib and walk away to collect yourself for a moment. You’re not a bad mom for needing 30 seconds to catch your breath if baby is being especially colicky.” - Jordan M.

“My husband and I had a plan that when either of us felt overwhelmed or frustrated, even if the baby was crying, we placed him in the crib and walked out for a moment to compose ourselves. It helped a lot.” - Janna J.

19. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS ❌

Do not compare your child to another child. Every child is different and will hit milestones when they are ready.” - Angela I.

“Something I’m still working on: Do not compare yourself to others when it comes to breastfeeding and if you have to supplement or strictly move to formula it is okay. A happy baby is a fed baby and a happy mommy is a happy baby.” - Jenny H.

20. KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO SIZE UP ⤴

“If your baby blows out their diaper, for the love of god move up a size! My baby is 11 months and we’ve had only 5 blowouts due to this advice.” - Shannon V.

21. JUST BREATHE 💨

During labor, just breathe. It’s intense and it hurts, but for real, if you focus on remembering to breathe through all that pain, you can tap into this weird, rhythmic space that I’m pretty sure could get you through any kind of torture.” - Molly L.

22. NEWBORN SLEEP IS UNPREDICTABLE 👶🏼

“Newborns are not supposed to sleep through the night and there's no set age when they are supposed to. Its different for all babies.” - Sandra H.

“I give every new mom who is interested a (Sleep Sense) sleep training guide. I learned the hard way that they don’t grow out of the 4 month sleep regression. Their little brains are forever changed and you might need to sleep train if it’s not going well (like mine who woke every 40 mins for 6 weeks until we sleep trained).” - Julia D.

23. STOCK UP AT THE HOSPITAL 🏥

Take as many of those panty shorts, pads and ice packs as you can from the hospital (and the diapers and wipes!). I pretty much lived in them for at least 2-3 weeks post labor. Plus you're getting charged for them anyway so you may as well raid the place.” - Kendra C.

24. GET SLEEP WHEN YOU CAN 💤

Sleep when the baby sleeps because sometimes u never know when they decided not to.” - Joanna K.

25. TAKE PHOTOS NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK 📸

“Also make sure you have someone take photos of you with baby in the hospital. I have a million photos of my fiancé and our son and only one of me and him and I wish I had more no matter how terrible I looked.”  - Brita G.

26. IT’S OKAY TO BE A HOMEBODY 🏡

It’s okay to cocoon your baby and stay at home as long as possible. Babies grow on love, sunlight and breast milk so the more the healthier.” - Aria W.

27. TIME YOUR HELPERS RIGHT 📆

“Don't be fooled if the first week seems easy! If anyone is coming to help you transition, wait until mid week of the second week or later when the baby really starts to wake up more.” - Sarah C.

28. TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE AFTER DELIVERY ❤️

Check your BP for 2 weeks after delivery to rule out postpartum preeclampsia.” - Mandy R.

29. LEARN ABOUT PELVIC FLOOR THERAPY

“Three Words: Pelvic Floor Therapy. Six weeks after birth you should feel back to normal “down there.” If you don’t, ask your OB about pelvic floor therapy and don’t walk, run there (and you can even bring your baby with you to the appointments). It’s much easier to correct an issue 6 weeks after birth than 6 years.” - Alayna L.

30. ESTABLISH A PLACE FOR KEEPSAKES 📦

“Decide before baby is born on a place where you’ll put special keepsakes as time goes by. Keep things like the bracelet from the hospital that was on baby’s wrist, hair from the first haircut, your favorite newborn outfit, baby’s first drawing, etc. there. Also consider getting a growth chart where you can mark off as baby grows in height.” - Shira H.

31. KEEP IT SIMPLE ✌🏼

Do not buy into perfection. The baby doesn’t care if their room perfect or their onesie costs $100’s. The want to eat, poop, and sleep. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the amount of baby things you think you need. Just the basics and your love, that’s all any baby wants.” - Audry D.

32. DON’T GET HUNG UP ON MILESTONES 📈

“Every baby/child is different. Don’t get hung up on “milestones” and just enjoy your baby at every stage, as they come.” - Lynn P.

33. BIRTH PLAN AND BELLY BINDER ✍🏻

“If you have a c-section USE THE BELLY BINDER. I can not say enough how much it saved me. Don’t be too set on your “birth plan” things can change quickly. Focus on your little ones safe arrival.” - Sarah Ann

34. DISCOVER THE WONDERS OF WITCH HAZEL ❄️

“Witch hazel soaked pads put in the freezer. Great for down there afterwards, and witch hazel on wipes so you can literally hold yourself together during that first poop. Uggg!” - Becky R.

35. TAKE SOME “ME” TIME 😎

“If someone asks if you need anything, have them come over to simply hold the baby. Then go for a walk, gym, or whatever you need to do for self care. Best gift a friend ever gave me.” - Maryam T.

36. STOCK THE FREEZER 🍽

Pack your fridge with food prior to having the baby. We came home and were starving. If you’re not sure when baby is coming then have stuff that’s frozen in the freezer or have a delivery the day you get home.” - Kelly G.

37. STOCK UP ON DRY SHAMPOO 💁🏻

“Dry shampoo. Stock up.” - Rebecca K.

38. ..AND STOOL SOFTENERS 💩

“Stock up on some stool softeners for at least 2 weeks postpartum if not longer.” - Evelyn K.

“My friend told me to start taking stool softeners once a day a few days BEFORE my due date. Never had a poop issue post baby!” - Shannon H.

49. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG FOR AN EPIDURAL 💉

“Ask for the epidural as soon as you get to the hospital. No need to suffer, and it can take awhile for the anesthesiologist to get to you, so you don't want to wait until the last minute.” - Carrie M.

40. IT GETS BETTER 😍

“It’s tough but it gets better and it will eventually be a lot more fun:)” - Sherri E.

What advice would you add to this list? Is there something someone told you that helped you tremendously? Something you learned along the way? Please comment below with the best piece of advice you would give a new mom to help her in her transition to motherhood.