The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Been Mom-Shamed For
Initially I wanted to have a little fun with all of this crazy mom-shaming business, but after hundreds of women shared their craziest mom-shaming moments with The Mom Report, I was shocked at how cruel and ridiculous people can be to moms.
We’re mom-shamed for...
Breastfeeding too long
Not breastfeeding long enough
Feeding our kids healthy food
Giving our kids too much junk food
For having a schedule
For not having a schedule
For going to work
For being a stay at home mom
For having one kid
For having too many kids
And the list goes on...
After reading through hundreds of these mom-shaming stories it seems as though family members are the worst offenders! It also seems that for every action that is mom-shamed, the opposite action is also mom-shamed.
Mom life is hard enough. We already feel guilty about EVERYTHING, even though we are doing the best we can. The last thing on Earth we need is other people judging us and telling us how to raise our children. These people have no idea what’s behind the decisions we make for our families, so to all those mom-shamers out there, back off and find another target to project your unhappiness on.
Here are some of the craziest things moms say they were mom-shamed for.
I WAS MOM-SHAMED FOR...
LEAVING THE UMBILICAL CORD ON TOO LONG
“My MIL mom shamed me because of the way my daughter's umbilical stump “stayed on too long” and “looked weird”.... even though doctors (and the rest of society) understood that everyone is different, my MIL tried to have me take it off.” - Melissa G.
SWADDLING MY BABY
"I was sent a pretty stern message by my in-laws about their “opinion” that our newborn shouldn’t be swaddled because she won’t be able to develop her arm and leg muscles." - Sara A.
"forcing" my HUSBAND TO PARENT
"My mil shamed me for “forcing” my husband to parent he should get to relax after work and on weekends while I was also working full time And that I forced him to get up with me during night feedings when he needed his sleep more than I did." - Nora M.
"When I mentioned that when my husband gets home from work, I hand him the baby, so I can have a break (which he loves, he misses her when he's at work), I was told, "He needs a break too, he's been working all day". Right, and I've been doing crosswords and eating ice cream. My mistake. 🙄" - Megan B.
a close age gap
"I’ve been shamed for having kids too close together. When people find out that they are only ten months apart, I’ve often been scolded (by strangers too!) for not waiting the proper amount of time to have sex after having a baby. In reality, I did wait but he was decided to arrive ten weeks prematurely and only weighed 3 lbs. when he was born. It was a rough delivery and we both almost lost our lives so it would be nice if people didn’t jump to conclusions." - Marissa D.
BOTTLE FEEDING WITH BREAST MILK
"I was mom shamed for feeding my son breast milk through a bottle and not straight from the tap. Cause breast milk isn't breast milk??" - Dzidzia L.
"I was shamed so much for exclusively pumping. I’m a full time working mom and my daughter fell asleep and didn’t get enough milk whenever I did direct breastfeeding. I just love the phrase “Well pumping is not breastfeeding.” Oh really, where is the milk coming from?!" - Beth L.
CHOOSING NOT TO BREASTFEED
"Deciding not to breastfeed either of my kids. As a working mom and feeling not up to it for breastfeeding we did bottle and European formula from day one and it was the best decision for the kids and us!" - Romana C.
BREASTFEEDING TOO LONG
"My husband's Aunt told me that I should stop breastfeeding because my son would turn out to be a weirdo, he was about 6 months old at the time." - Amy C.
"Mom shamed for breastfeeding my 20 month old. Mom shamed for being a stay at home mom when I should be using the degree I got 2 years ago." - Christina J.
"Mom shamed for not giving baby formula after she turned 6 months. As if breastmilk lost its benefits after 6 months." - Liset A.
"Mom shamed for nursing two of my boys past 2 years old." - Jazzlyn C.
BREASTFEEDING to hog THE baby
"I was mom shamed for breastfeeding because it meant i was purposely making it so my in-laws couldn't feed the baby." - Amber K.
"Feeding my daughter formula in a store one day and a woman stopped me to tell me how disappointed Jesus was with me for not giving my child god’s milk." - Beth R.
"I was mom shamed for giving my baby formula. What people didn’t know is that I wasn’t producing enough milk. I did everything in my power to increase the supply." - Kathy S.
HOLDING MY BABY
"I was shamed for holding my 2 week old because I was going to spoil her." - Anna K.
HAVING TOO MANY KIDS
"I was mom shamed for having to many kids.. I have 4. (ages 4yr, 3yr, 2yr, 2yr) apparently they are under loved 🤷♀️bc I dont have enough time for them... I'm a stay at home mom." - Julie D.
"Shamed for leaving my son intact (not circumcised)." - Monique P.
having a schedule
"Shamed for sticking to a nap schedule and needing to be at home for those naps and home by a certain time for bedtime." - Lacey K.
eating too many bagles
"Mom shamed for giving my daughter her ana wheat allergy by eating too many bagels while pregnant ?????" - Kiira W.
not losing weight fast enough
"I grew up with a very part-time, ultra critical mother. Shamed me for not losing weight “as fast as my cousin’s wife” (our babies are two months apart). This comment was made when my baby was only ten days old. But even if he were ten years old, I’d still be upset. Still brings tears to my eyes when I think about her rude comment." - Leah R.
"I was mom shamed by sleep training my second kid by mostly family, until they see him happily go to bed every single nap and at bedtime with 0 assistance from anyone. They shut their mouths now." - Dannie L.
"I was mom shamed for using the CIO to sleep train my then 10 month old." - Jessica K.
CHOOSING HEALTHY FOOD
"Mom shamed for making my son’s first birthday cake without sugar. And for choosing to feed him healthy and organic." - Melissa M.
"Been shamed that my then 1yo wasn't walking yet because I was babywearing her too much. Sure, let me just plop my child on the floor of this grocery store and see if she'll magically start walking now! (She's almost 4yo and did start walking at 17mo)" - Jessica G.
"I’m spoiling my baby because I hold her and baby wear her too much. 🙄" - Angela S.
bows that are too big
"When my daughter was about 4 months old a lady stopped me in the grocery store to tell me "That bow is too big on her head, its going to unbalance her head and make it uneven." - Michelle L.
having a job
"For having a career and leaving them with my Mom as their caregiver while I work." - Amy R.
SENDING KID(S) TO DAYCARE
"Putting my little guy in daycare since I work full time. My mother in law told me how “daycares breed serial killers” and we’re making his destiny by sending him to one." - Claire J.
Having a c-section
"Mom shamed for having an emergency c section because it “probably wasn’t a true emergency.” Mom shamed for electing to have another c section in a few months for baby #2. You can’t win as a mom." - Melissa C.
"I have a large amount of tattoos. On my legs, back and both my arms are tattooed sleeves. Somehow the tattoos effect me from being a good mom to my 2 daughters 🤷♀️" - Carolyn D.
not speaking english
"For not speaking to my kids on English. Yes a woman in Walmart told me since I’m here in America i need to teach my kids “fucking English.” - Nikolina B.
I’m shamed all the time for being a. Working mom and then shamed more for being a teacher and educating other people’s kids while I should be home with my kids and then shamed even more for sending my kids to daycare." - Robin S.
having only one child
"Having only one child even though it’s medically impossible for me to have another one. I’ve had one woman tell me that if your going to have one kid only you shouldn’t have any because it isn’t fair to the child. I kind of just smile and nod and don’t argue because it’s usually at work that I get these comments." - Dana R.
having all girls
"For only having daughters .. and not wanting to try for a fourth baby in order to ‘get our boy’." - Sara C.
Sadly, this is only a small portion of the responses. Although it seems absolutely absurd that people would say these things to women, it happens all...the...time. All we can do is give our very best to make sure our kids are loved and well cared for each day. When you come across the ridiculousness that is mom-shaming, try your best to remember that the issue is with the shamer, not you. Shake it off with a smile or, if necessary, a casually inconspicuous, yet super gratifying middle finger.